Chapter 17: The Key to an Everlasting Love

What can we learn from burned biscuits? A lot. Read & find out.... A family member of mine shared a link to this story on Facebook & I think it's definitely worth the read. It's about not turning ant hills into mountains. It's about accepting each other's faults. It's about celebrating each other's differences & most of all... it's about LOVE.

"Burned Biscuits - A lesson we all should learn"
Author Unknown

When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!
All my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing...never made a face nor uttered a word about it!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said, "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Mom put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides--a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people.
I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today...that you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket--keep it in your own."
So, please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine.
And PLEASE pass this along to someone who has enriched your life--I just did!
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil--it has no point"

Chapter 16: What is forgiveness?

Today while watching Dr. Phil's part 2 exclusive of, "The Man behind the Manti Te’o Girlfriend Hoax Comes Clean", the topic of forgiveness came up a lot. I started reading through blogs on forgiveness & I came upon a letter from a man on death row. His explanation on what forgiveness was to him really resonated with me. His words moved me & I hope they move you too. We all deal with forgiveness in our lives at one point or another—whether it be wanting forgiveness from someone you wronged, wanting to forgive someone who has wronged you, or wanting to forgive yourself. Maybe you don't feel worthy of forgiveness OR you don't want to forgive the person who has hurt & broken you so badly. Whatever your take is on forgiveness, reading this could help you with a past issues, current issue, or future issue.

One of my good friends once told me that it all comes down to your peace of mind.
It's hard to truly say you're at peace if you're harboring ill feelings towards yourself or someone else.
Forgiveness is not about invalidating your pain—it's about recognizing your pain, accepting your troubled past & no longer allowing it the power to dictate your future. When I was in High School I came up with the saying, "Lingering onto the bad only guarantees you to miss out on the good." This is a saying that I always try to live by. It's not easy to remember these types of sayings when we're upset & we will all struggle with it at times,  so it's our responsibility to remind ourselves of these sayings.

Sure, forgiving someone who has wronged you leaves you vulnerable, but isn't that better than being constantly on guard/angry/resentful? Who wants to live that life? It takes more energy to hate than to love. We have the power within ourselves to choose to be at peace. Better said than done, right? No one says forgiveness is easy—it's just a matter of being willing to take the journey to get there. We all have our share of hurts to different degrees & under different circumstances. There's no timeline indicating how long it will take to forgive someone or forgive yourself, but it will be worth it in the end.     You've got nothing to lose [other than pain] & everything to gain [peace & happiness].

Finally... here is the letter from the man on death row. I've bolded some of my favorite lines:
Click here for the original source

"Forgiveness is a form of realism. It doesn't deny, minimize, or justify what others have done to us or the pain that we have suffered. It encourages us to look squarely at those old wounds and see them for what they are. And it allows us to see how much energy we have wasted and how much we have damaged ourselves by not forgiving. 
Forgiveness is an internal process. It can't be forced, and it doesn't come easy. It brings with it great feelings of wellness and freedom. But we experience this only when we want to heal and when we are willing to work for it.
Forgiveness is a sign of positive self-esteem. We no longer identify ourselves by our past injuries and injustices. We are no longer victims. We claim the right to stop hurting when we say, "I'm tired of the pain, and I want to be healed." At that moment, forgiveness becomes a possibility-although it may take time and much hard work before we finally achieve it.
Forgiveness is letting go of the past. It doesn't erase what happened, but it does allow us to lessen and perhaps even eliminate the pain of the past. The pain from our past no longer dictates how we live in the present, and it no longer determines our future. 
It also means that we no longer need resentment and anger as an excuse for our shortcomings. We don't need them as a weapon to punish others nor as a shield to protect ourselves by keeping others away. And most importantly, we don't need these feelings to identify who we are. We become more than merely victims of our past.
Forgiveness is no longer wanting to punish those who hurt us. It is understanding that the anger and hatred that we feel toward them hurts us far more than it hurts them. It is seeing how we hide ourselves in our anger and how those feelings prevent us from healing. It is discovering the inner peace that becomes ours when we let go of the past and forget vengeance. 
Forgiveness is moving on. It is recognizing all that we have lost because of our refusal to forgive. It is realizing that the energy that we spend hanging on to the past is better spent on improving our present and our future. It is letting go of the past so that we can move on.
We all have been hurt. And at one time or another most of us have made the mistake of trying to run away from the past. The problem is that no matter how fast or how far we run, the past always catches up to us-and usually at the most inopportune time. When we forgive, we are dealing with the past in such a way that we no longer have to run.
For me, learning how to forgive wasn't easy. But I did learn, and my life is better for it - even here on death row."
Michael B. Ross Death Row Somers, Connecticut 

"To be angry is to let others' mistakes punish yourself.
To forgive others is to be good to yourself.
Master ChengYen

If you're currently struggling with forgiveness in any form in your life, I hope & pray that you find peace soon. Don't rob yourself of a good life by replaying all of the bad things that have happened to you (or that you have done). Learn from them, grow from them, move on from them. Forgiveness is the key to peace. We need peace & love in order to be happy ♥

If you have any quotes, tips, or thoughts of forgiveness, please feel free to share them in a comment!

Chapter 15: Happy Spouse Day!

Picture I made out of me & my husband's wedding rings :)

It has come to my attention that today is Spouse Day (not to be confused with Military Spouse Appreciation Day which is celebrated on the Friday before Mother's Day)! This national holiday is not widely known & I'm glad I know about it now! I absolutely ♥ any & every reason to celebrate love! I'm a hopeless romantic like that =P That would explain why my husband & I celebrate every "monthiversary" of ours—whether it be the day we started dating, the day we got engaged, or the day we got married. We celebrate them all! So, I'm dedicating this post to listing things that I  ♥ about my better half.

What are some things that you love about your spouse?! Make sure to tell them today (& everyday for that matter)!

My Dearest Husband,

• I  ♥ how you love me
• I  ♥ how we can be silly together
• I  ♥ how you can always make me laugh
• I  ♥ that you think I'm funny even when I'm not trying to be
• I  ♥ how incredibly patient you are with me—especially those days when I'm being stubborn
• I  ♥ when you randomly start slow dancing with me around our home
• I  ♥ when I find love notes from you
• I  ♥ how you're so good at making me feel special & loved on a daily basis
• I  ♥ how you comfort me when I'm feeling down
• I  ♥ how you work so hard & rarely complain about your job
• I  ♥ how you're always up for doing something spontaneous
• I  ♥ when we play guitar & sing together
• I  ♥ how supportive you are of me, my dreams, & everything
• I  ♥ how you make me fall even more in love with you with each passing day
• I  ♥ how you always want to take care of me in every aspect of life
• I  ♥ when we read the Bible together & go to church on Sundays
• I  ♥ how handsome you are! (hehe...)
• I  ♥ that you always ask me to sing for you & the look you get on your face when I do
• I  ♥ everything about you
• I  ♥ that this list could go on forever.....

In closing..... thank you for being mine!

Our Wedding Day 7.7.12

Chapter 14: When Your Love is Far From Home ["keeping sane" ideas]

He surprised me at my work during his lunch break :)

Surprise visits at work, flowers "just because", dancing in the kitchen, finding notes/love letters from my husband in various places of our home, & much more... these are some of the things/memories that I cling onto whenever my husband is gone for whatever reason—whether it be duty days, underways, or deployment. It's so easy to get sad thinking about how much I miss these things when he's gone instead of being happy over the memory. This part of military life is never easy & it's never fun having to cook for one... but it's even less fun staying miserable. 

Below is a list of things to do to keep yourself occupied when duty calls [if you're military] OR if your love is just going away for an extended period of time for whatever reason.

"Keeping Sane" Ideas

• Pick up a new hobby (or old hobby) that you may not have the time for when your love is there
• Workout! Go for a run, hike, yoga class, kickboxing class, or what have you! You already feel lousy enough missing your love—don't make yourself feel worse by just laying in bed or being a couch potato! 
• If you don't have any kids or pets, do what I do & have music (or the tv, whichever you choose) playing constantly. Sometimes silence makes us feel more alone.
• Get your creative juices flowing with some arts & crafts! Make some new home decor, start a scrapbook, etc... Whenever you create something, you get a sense of fulfillment & accomplishment when you're able to say to yourself, "Hey... I made that!"
• Please help me out & don't let the old fashion art of writing letters die! Snail mail is much more personal than text messages, emails, facebook, & technology in general. Grab a pen & some paper. Write to an old friend or family member you haven't talked to in a while. 
• Buy a calendar [a paper one that hangs on the wall]. Post it on a wall that you see daily. Every night (or morning) cross off the days as a countdown until you & your love get to be together again! Remember doing this as a kid when counting down the days till Christmas? It may seem silly, but having that visual & seeing all of those "X'd" off days really helps to put a smile on my face, so maybe it'll help you too! :)
• Start reading a new book OR finally finish that book you already started!
• Don't forget about that occasional outing with friends! We all need a "Ladies Night" from time to time. Whenever my husband is home, it's sometimes hard for me to go out with friends because I just want to spend all my time with him [that's either because we're newlyweds, we were in a long distance relationship for 5 years, we're a military couple, &/OR we're just that obsessed with each other]. Whenever he's gone [& after I get out of my funk of feeling sad & lonely over missing him] I'm more open to hanging out with my gal friends. Don't be afraid to have fun! Wouldn't your love rather you be happy & having fun instead of miserable & stuck at home [or work] all day?

Hope some of these suggestions help! Feel free to comment with your own "Keeping Sane" Ideas to add to the list!

On a different day he picked me up from work with these in hand ♥

Some recent notes/love letters from my husband written to me for no
special occasion other than celebrating life, love, & our marriage.

Chapter 13: "My dumpster diving wife!" -My husband

[Left: Bad picture of my guitar. Right: Model picture of what my guitar looks like in better lighting]

The saying goes, "One man's junk is another man's treasure." I'm no guy, but I did find a treasure in what a man thought was junk! I saw some guy throw this in the dumpster while I was walking home from work last week. The moment I saw him pull out a guitar [that looked perfectly fine from afar] & throw it out, I slowed my pace, waited for him to drive away, then walked back to further inspect the guitar (no shame!). I hopped up onto the ledge, reached for the guitar, & pulled it out. The next thing I knew, I had a huge smile on my face as I walked to my apartment with this new guitar in hand :)

I searched it on google & found out that it's an Ibanez Performance Guitar. I learned that it's the perfect guitar for beginner/intermediate guitarists. I also think it's pretty cool that there are fret note labels/stickers on the fretboard! This will definitely help me out by acting as a "cheat sheet" while I learn to play guitar! Now I have my husband to teach me instead of failing at trying to learn on my own! We no longer have to share his guitar since I can use this one.

I also don't have to worry about trying to find a way to ship my other guitar here from California anymore. I now have two guitars! I got my 1st guitar (a black acoustic/electric Fender) at the age of 13 when I was in a girl band & we were sponsored by Fender. 2 free guitars :) I'm pretty grateful! All it needs is new strings, a bridge pin, & a good polishing! I told my husband that I vow to never buy my own guitar because I like this "tradition" of being blessed with guitars. He thought that was crazy, but pretty cool. Lol!

Who knows... maybe I'll actually learn how to play guitar (finally) & that this guitar will be the one that I write music to for the 1st time :) Maybe this will be the guitar that changes everything for me. I write songs, but I've never been able to accompany myself with an instrument. I took piano lessons at the age of 7 but only stuck at it for about a year. I also tried to take guitar lessons in college, but it didn't really stick. I do much better in a one-on-one learning environment, rather than a group one. If I ever make it in Hollywood & the music industry (which is a dream I'm planning on making a reality) I vow to tell this story of my "dumpster guitar". I'll also try to find the guy who threw this out. If anyone steps up & claims it was them, I'll ask them a series of questions to prove it. If I ever made it big & this guitar helped play a role in making my dreams come true, then I'll want to thank the man who threw out this guitar. I also plan to buy him a nice brand new (& better!) guitar as a "thank you" & a sort of "trade" :) 

Imagine... if I got out of work a little earlier, later, if I asked my boss for a ride, or if the traffic lights to cross the street were timed differently, then I would never have seen some guy throw this out at my apartment complex. What timing, huh? Talk about fate! I can't wait to get started & have some jam sessions with my hubby! ♥

Below is how I shared my exciting news with my husband when he came home from work:

Me: "Honey, I found a guitar!"
My husband: "Where'd ya find that? It's an Ibanez too. Nice."
Me: "You know what that is?! Cool! I thought it said Hanez until I searched it on google" =P 

Chapter 12: Our Disney World NYE!

My husband & I rang in the New Year & celebrated 5 1/2 years together at Disney World! This was very special to us because we haven't spent NYE together since 2008 (going into 2009), it was our 1st NYE as a married couple, & we'll be surviving our 2nd deployment next NYE...  Since we couldn't go to California like we originally planned, my husband decided to take us to Disney World & spend a few days there :) We need to take advantage of our premium annual passes more often! As expected of Disney World, it really was a magical way to bid farewell to 2012 & welcome in 2013.

2012 was filled with many amazing life changing events & some heartbreaking events for me & my husband. To name a few::
-I finally married my best friend/3rd grade crush/my everything on 7.7.12 in our hometown
-We got to celebrate an anniversary together for the 1st time ever!
-After 5 years of a long distance relationship we were finally able to start our lives together after I made the big move from California to Florida shortly after our wedding
-We spent my birthday together for the 1st time ever!
-We were able to spend all of our 1st major holidays together as newlyweds
-We rescued a stray dog & found him a good home.
-We adopted a beautiful puppy who we named Lady & got our hearts broken when she passed away suddenly at only 8wks old
-Our hearts broke again when my husband's Uncle Richard passed away suddenly 

We know next year will bring new challenges, especially with our 2nd deployment coming up. It's going to be a difficult year, but we know that we can handle it together & we look forward to all the wonderful things that are also to come.

[Sunday] Dec. 30, 2012: We started off the day a little late because we slept in =P Since it was the end of the year we decided to treat ourselves to some Starbucks! I got a seasonal drink & Robert tried something off their "secret menu" for the first time. He had a Cap'n Crunch, which just tasted like an interesting strawberry shake.

Our 1st stop was Magic Kingdom! I read a blog post that gave us a few tips about which park to spend NYE at. Apparently everyone wants to go to Magic Kingdom on NYE so it's crazy packed. To get the most out of your trip, they suggested spending the 30th at Magic Kingdom because they do their NYE fireworks rehearsal at night, then go to Hollywood Studios on the 31st because that way you'll have seen 2 NYE firework performances :) Good idea, right?! That's what we ended up doing & it was a PERFECT way to celebrate!

Tip: No matter which park you decide to go to for NYE, make sure you get there EARLY. Parks fill up to maximum capacity FAST. Be prepared to spend your whole day there. Rent a locker, wear/bring comfortable clothes & shoes etc.. Don't leave the park because there's no guarantee you'll be able to get back in!

We got really lucky for getting into the "Be Our Guest" Restaurant in New Fantasyland, because they were actually doing reservations only! Yet, some guy helped us out & found us a table :) It was beautiful inside! So majestic & totally captured the Beauty & the Beast atmosphere. The food was also very delicious as well!

Tip: Make a reservation & save up a good chunk of money because this place is a bit on the pricey side! It's well worth it if you have the money to spare, are celebrating a special occasion, & want to enjoy a fancy dinner with your loved one(s). Prepare to spend at least $85+ for a full meal (2 drinks, 2 appetizers, 2 entrees & 2 desserts). It'll be more if you get alcoholic drinks. Don't forget to tip! We normally tip at least 20%, but we tip more than 20% during the holidays!

Hehe... silly Dopey!

Gosh, I love my husband! He's so handsome!

After eating dinner we decided to buy some pins (my husband turned me into a collector!), walked around to enjoy all the decorations, & we also stopped at the shooting range. My military man tried to teach me how to shoot. It probably took me 2.5 rounds to hit 14 targets while it took less than 1 round for my husband to hit 31 targets. So much for beginners luck! I was counting on that to beat him! =P

Another thing I absolutely LOVE about Disney World this time of year is that it SNOWS there! :D Ok... more like "bubbles" ;P Lol, but it sure looks like snow! It's a gorgeous site & seeing that look of fascination & happiness on every kid's face is priceless.

[Monday] Dec. 31, 2012: We spent NYE at Hollywood Studios (as suggested in the blog we read) & rented a locker to keep extra jackets in for when it got colder at night. We ate lunch at the Sci-Fi Drive-In Theater & I can't tell you just how cool it was! You sat in little old fashioned cars, watched clips of cartoons & other old videos while you ate, & if you look around you see stars everywhere! It really does capture the experience of going to the drive-in theater.

Tip: People can show up without a reservation, but a reservation might still be good. The menu isn't cheap, but it's definitely more affordable than the fancy "Be Our Guest" restaurant. You won't break the bank too much, but you'll spend at least $55+ for a full meal (2 drinks, 1 appetizer, 2 entree's , 1 dessert). Prepare to spend more if you get alcoholic drinks. Don't forget to tip well!

Look! It's the "Fix It Felix Jr." arcade game from the Disney movie "Wreck it Ralph"! :D

The only ride we went on was the Hollywood Tower of Terror because some guy gave us his 2 fastpass tickets since him & his son couldn't go anymore. Thank you, kind sir! :) I love that ride! There's something about the feeling of your stomach dropping that I like so much =P We spent the rest of the day watching a lot of shows! Little side street shows, the Comedy Show (so funny!), Fantasmic (amazing!), Mulch, Sweat & Shears rock band (they played a lot of cover songs & rang in the new year!), etc... As soon as the sun set, the pretty lights came up! Hollywood Studios has an amazing dancing light show! The lights "dance" to the beat of whatever song it is they're playing. It's quite a performance! Of course, there's also the crowd favorite.... FIREWORKS! Everyone cheered & blowed those fun & annoying horns (including us =P Lol)! They were passing out horns & Disney 2012 NYE top hats on the way to the 6:30pm Fantasmic show (I'm sure they passed them out other places too, but that's how we got ours). I love cute little memorabilia, especially when it's free! :)

We recommend everyone celebrate NYE at Disney World at least once in their lifetime if you can! If you plan on doing so, here are a a couple of links for you to check out. They're helpful articles to help you plan your very own perfect Disney World NYE! :)

http://www.sborlando.com/which-disney-theme-park-is-best-choice-for-new-years-eve/

http://www.studioscentral.com/column/studios-weekly/why-hollywood-studios-new-years-best-option

Chapter 11: Are you RAD?

Last Saturday I ran in the Color Me Rad 5K with a bunch of wives/friends from my husband's ship. We formed a team of 13 called the "Wardog Wives" & we had a blast! It was my first time running a 5K & I'm pretty proud of myself for running the whole time—especially considering the fact that I didn't really "train" for it. I ran a total of 3 times before this 5K to prepare myself =P For those of you who remember reading my past post about how I was going to start running with my husband at 4AM.... well, that only happened once. We could never go to sleep early enough to want to wake up & run so early in the morning the next day [aka: we chose to have longer cuddle time] Lol ♥

The t-shirt I made using parts of my husband's old uniform :)

I then ran 2.1 miles on Tuesday, 2.6 miles on Wednesday, & the 5K was on Saturday. That was the extent of my "training". I surprised myself by running the whole 5K without stopping & without feeling like I was dying! Once I crossed the finish line I knew that I probably could've pushed myself a little harder. Now I've got the 5K bug! My husband is looking to do a mud run next month & we're both registered for the Color In Motion run in December. I also found out that there will be a 5K held on base in a couple of weeks for Domestic Violence Awareness Month & I'll most likely be running that one by myself—unless my friends join me, because my husband will be at work since it's happening during the week.

We're a legit RAD couple. Like... for reals ;)

There are soo many 5K's/Mud runs/obstacle courses etc... coming up that I want to do, but I'm limiting myself to 1 a month =P Those registration fees can be quite pricey! I had so much fun though & my husband & I keep talking about how excited we are to start running these together! :) We're preparing ourselves to run half marathons/marathons/triathlons etc... in the future ;) We'll see! The Color Me Rad 5K was definitely a good introduction into the world of running 5K's! It was fun, memorable, & good exercise! Lol. I also have a lot of souvenirs/keepsakes now too! I made my shirt (that I still have yet to soak in vinegar so the colors stay on it) & all registrants received a t-shirt, sunglasses, 1 color pack, & a "RAD" tattoo. On the day of the event I received 5 more color packs for free since we bought a teal tank top & bracelet for myself, a teal shirt for my husband, & a t-shirt for our future kid(s) [this is a bit of a long story, so I'll explain it some time if anyone actually asks & cares to know] :)

I DID IT!

FYI: For anyone who is interested in adding some "color" to your life but aren't sure if you can handle a 5K, you don't HAVE to run the whole time! You set your own pace :) That is what's so great about this 5K. Just because you're not a runner doesn't mean you can't join in on all the colorful fun! You can run the whole time, walk the whole time, or do a combination of running & walking. JUST DON'T STOP MOVING! Otherwise someone will come along in a golf cart & pick you up ;P That's cheating! Unless you're injured of course... there were kids running with their parents (I thought this was so cute! & I got  jealous every time these kids would pass me! Lol. Kids have so much energy!) & there were even some old folk amongst the crowd of runners! Those must be the "cool" grandma's & grandpa's. Haha! Aside from driving me to the 5K & being there to support me & cheer me on, my husband also took most of these great photographs that are in this blog post [thanks honey!]. There were also professional photographers taking pictures of runners who didn't want to get their camera dirty or who didn't have anyone to photograph them. We were able to search for the pictures online by using the bib # we pinned to our shirts.

Wooh!!!

"WW" Wardog Wives style ;)

 After taking numerous pictures, we went out to eat at Cracker Barrel with our friends. It was our 1st time eating there (we don't have that restaurant in California) & I've got to say, they have some pretty dang good food! We'll definitely come again! I was glad that I took the day off of work because after an exhausting day like that, there was NO WAY I would've wanted to go to work at night! Nope! I enjoyed the rest of the day hanging out with my husband & relaxing ♥

More pictures below........

The breakfast of champions! I've
always wanted a reason to eat one of
these! Lol!

I love my husband :)
He makes me laugh
♥

Our adrenaline was still pumping!
So we decided to do cartwheels =P

Look how happy she is to get colored?! Lol!

They color bombed us! We were tricked!

Yup. They got me.