12.30.2014

Chapter 49: #TheMontgomeryHiatus


#TheMontgomeryHiatus!

In other words, "Robert & Darlene take it back to basics!"

I first made this announcement back in September on my Instagram account [@withlovedarlene]. Now that 2014 is coming to a close, I realized that I need to post this on my Facebook as well! In short, my husband & I are going on a year long social media hiatus as part of our New Year's resolution! :) If you would like to keep in touch during 2015, please send me a private message with as much contact information as you feel comfortable sharing [i.e. email, mailing address, &/or phone number] & I'll reply with mine! I'm an avid snail mailer, so if you give me your address then I can guarantee that you'll receive something in your mailbox from me AT LEAST once! :) Everyone likes getting something other than bills & junk mail, right?! I hope to hear from some of you! For everyone else... Have a great year! See you in 2016! ;)

Read below to find out the full story behind our social media hiatus: written on September 17, 2014 
[truthful tuesday] If you are planning to read this, be aware that I write novels. This is a long one. Brace yourself <3 Right before my husband deployed, we had talked about taking a year long hiatus from social media. It was something we both got really excited about doing :) We already know this will be easy for my husband—he's rarely on social media as it is—so he's really more excited for me. Lol. I could go on & on about all the reasons why we made this decision, but it would take too long! Instead, I'll try to explain it all in a nutshell as best I can! Over the last year, I've slowly migrated from Facebook to Instagram. I would find myself getting increasingly overwhelmed whenever I scrolled through my newsfeed. It may sound crazy, but I sometimes adopt the mentality that once I start something, I can't stop. In the past, if I started to scroll through my newsfeed, sometimes it would become difficult for me to stop. It's almost as if I felt obligated to look through every single post that I missed, in order to stay connected to everyone. One of my strengths—which also doubles as a flaw—is that I care far too much about practically everything. I would take the time to read through everyone's posts because I care about everyone. However, the older I get, the more aware I become of how I spend my time. It is said that time is our most valuable resource; you can't buy more of it.

When I have these moments of reflection, it is then I realize that I can't possibly stay connected to every single person that I've crossed paths with in my lifetime, & any efforts to do so would be futile. As much as I'd like to, there just isn't enough time in the day. Then I begin to think about how much time my husband & I have spent apart throughout our entire 7 year relationship. I think about all of the things we want to do together & all of the places we want to go; all of the things I want to do & goals I want to accomplish. When it comes to social media, spending 10 minutes here or an hour or two there all adds up. Just think about the many other ways you could spend that time. You could read a book or even learn a new language! Rosetta Stone suggests practicing for a minimum of only 30 minutes a day! I remember the time before social media become popular. Those who truly wanted to keep in touch with you would make an effort to; they'd find a way to & vice versa. This is sadly a generation that has become more comfortable with staring at a screen than staring into someone's eyes. Most young people would rather "shoot someone a text" than call them up on the phone. Others often prefer to fiddle with their phone than strike up a conversation with a stranger. Don't get me wrong, social media is an amazing tool! It has allowed me to get back in contact with old friends, & I've made some new friends that I don't want to lose touch with. I just think that people often misuse social media, & their relationship with others & a more intimate connection with the world suffers because of it. 

Lately, I've started doing "weekly life updates" with some of my closest friends. It always feels so much better to get the inside scoop from them personally & not through a forum used to inform the masses. Sharing information is great, & how you share that information matters. Our family & close friends play a more important role in our lives. They are special blessings & should be treated as such. Sure, social media makes it tremendously easier to keep in touch with out-of-state family & friends, but my husband & I are hoping this experience will only strengthen those relationships. We hope to create a special bond through a more personal approach of keeping in touch—with snail mail being my favorite! After this 9 month deployment is over, my husband & I will have a lot of quality time to make up for. We will have a lot of catching up to do, & this hiatus will help us do just that! :) We will either start when he comes home or at the beginning of the new year. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to announce our hiatus. Who would really care other than family & close friends, right? However, the more I thought about it, the more the idea to just "disappear" without a word didn't sit well with me. It just didn't feel like a good vibe to put out into the universe. Plus, I'm a talker & I'm a writer. Staying silent about people/thoughts/ideas/things/moments that move me isn't exactly my forte.

Sooo, this is my "heads up" post. Will my husband & I be able to stick with the hiatus for a year? I hope so! There are very few rare exceptions we agreed on! Will it last longer than a year? It's a possibility; we'll just have to wait & see how we feel when that time comes! I'll still use social media for business/professional use, just not for personal use. I can't wait to see what will come from this experiment! :) For those who cared enough to take the time to read this little novel of mine, I send love & light your way  #TheMontgomeryHiatus #darleneandrobert #darleneandroberts2nddeployment

Chapter 48: The "Letters For Robert" Project [a deployment gift]

An excerpt of a letter to my husband:
"Your wife, my best friend, taught me love, hope and happiness. She taught me that love endures all, and that real love is not that of stories, but the actions etched into our hearts. It is all because of you... I could never have asked for God to bring her someone better. You are her everything. Before I ever met you, I loved you, because I love her. I saw what you meant to her, and I knew it was nothing short of a fantastic reality... If ever there was a true love to believe in, it is yours..." 
—Kendall

Before my husband left for his 2nd deployment, I decided to put together a special gift for him. I asked a bunch of family & friends to handwrite him a letter to help me send him off to sea with some love from home. The tricky part was making sure I picked up the mail before he got the chance to! I decorated a special box with his name on it & put all of the letters inside of it. I gave the box to him the day he deployed. This particular letter was written by one of my closest friends who was a bridesmaid in our wedding. I'm happy to have stumbled upon it again, because it's really special to me. She gave me permission to publish this, so below is the full copy of her letter. The way she writes about my husband perfectly describes the way I too feel about him. When I read this letter I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have the husband & marriage that I have, & how blessed I am to have the writer of this letter in my life. Thank you for this beautiful letter, Kendall. It means a lot to the both of us