Chapter 20: How To Be Beautiful [without envy or cruelty]

 I believe that in order to truly be beautiful, you must have a kind soul & pure heart. A beautiful person doesn't pick & choose who they're nice to because they're genuinely nice to everyone. Key word being "genuinely", otherwise it's all just an act. It saddens me to hear how fake, callous, or vindictive people can be behind your back [or to your face]. I'm often told that it's good how I always see the best in others because not many people do anymore—but it's also something I should be careful of. I've learned the hard way [& I'm still learning] that not everyone has the best intentions. Just because you have genuinely kind thoughts & feelings about someone, doesn't mean they reciprocate. Make sure your thoughts match your words. Often times someone will think one thing but say another & "mumble" their true feelings on the side. Even if you don't speak poorly about someone to others, you should still make it a habit to not think poorly about them either. Envious thoughts & cruel thoughts are one in the same. You may not be speaking negatively about others, but if you think negatively about them that alone is enough to change you negatively as a person. 

No one should feel the need to think cruel or condescending thoughts about someone else just to make themselves feel better. Don't take that route in life.

Don't knock someone else down as a tool to build yourself up.

Don't bash on someone else's marriage or relationship just so you can feel better about your own. That's no way to live. That's no way to love. Be happy & let others be happy, without all of the negativity. You may be guilty of this without even realizing it until now. Theadore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Don't let yourself become envious or cruel. Seek kindness, pureness, & beauty in your thoughts, words, & actions. 

Envy is another story & my old neighbor explained it well:

"Sometimes appreciation for doing something positive won't come from the recipient. But just being comfortable with yourself and the choices you make is rewarding, I think. It's one reason I learned to admire, not envy. Because you're still going to be you anyway. Envy suggests you are deficient in some way. Admiration (to me) implies you accept that you are fine exactly as you are but can strive to improve. You can never become anyone else on the planet but a "better" you, and that's based on the choices you make." —Norm Fessler

Never compete with others—only compete with yourself.

Don't work to be "better" than someone else,

just work to be the best you.

Don't work to have a "better" marriage/relationship than another couple, just work to have the best marriage/relationship for yourself & your significant other.

Every person is special & every love story is unique.

There's no need to compete with, envy, or bash on others.

Don't waste time & energy focusing on someone else's life instead of your own.

Once again... a pretty face is nothing if you have an ugly heart. Always strive to be beautiful on the inside as well as the outside—not just appear to be beautiful on the outside but rotten on the inside. I hope I no longer hear stories from my friends about their "friends" trying to sabotage their self-esteem &/or marriage because of envy or unnecessary cruelty.

If you have any thoughts or tips you'd like to add on "How To Be Beautiful" then let me know in a comment! :)

Stay beautiful, everyone!