Chapter 49: #TheMontgomeryHiatus

#TheMontgomeryHiatus!

In other words, "Robert & Darlene take it back to basics!"

I first made this announcement back in September on my Instagram account [@withlovedarlene]. Now that 2014 is coming to a close, I realized that I need to post this on my Facebook as well! In short, my husband & I are going on a year long social media hiatus as part of our New Year's resolution! :) If you would like to keep in touch during 2015, please send me a private message with as much contact information as you feel comfortable sharing [i.e. email, mailing address, &/or phone number] & I'll reply with mine! I'm an avid snail mailer, so if you give me your address then I can guarantee that you'll receive something in your mailbox from me AT LEAST once! :) Everyone likes getting something other than bills & junk mail, right?! I hope to hear from some of you! For everyone else... Have a great year! See you in 2016! ;)

Read below to find out the full story behind our social media hiatus: written on September 17, 2014 

[truthful tuesday] If you are planning to read this, be aware that I write novels. This is a long one. Brace yourself <3 Right before my husband deployed, we had talked about taking a year long hiatus from social media. It was something we both got really excited about doing :) We already know this will be easy for my husband—he's rarely on social media as it is—so he's really more excited for me. Lol. I could go on & on about all the reasons why we made this decision, but it would take too long! Instead, I'll try to explain it all in a nutshell as best I can! Over the last year, I've slowly migrated from Facebook to Instagram. I would find myself getting increasingly overwhelmed whenever I scrolled through my newsfeed. It may sound crazy, but I sometimes adopt the mentality that once I start something, I can't stop. In the past, if I started to scroll through my newsfeed, sometimes it would become difficult for me to stop. It's almost as if I felt obligated to look through every single post that I missed, in order to stay connected to everyone. One of my strengths—which also doubles as a flaw—is that I care far too much about practically everything. I would take the time to read through everyone's posts because I care about everyone. However, the older I get, the more aware I become of how I spend my time. It is said that time is our most valuable resource; you can't buy more of it.

When I have these moments of reflection, it is then I realize that I can't possibly stay connected to every single person that I've crossed paths with in my lifetime, & any efforts to do so would be futile. As much as I'd like to, there just isn't enough time in the day. Then I begin to think about how much time my husband & I have spent apart throughout our entire 7 year relationship. I think about all of the things we want to do together & all of the places we want to go; all of the things I want to do & goals I want to accomplish. When it comes to social media, spending 10 minutes here or an hour or two there all adds up. Just think about the many other ways you could spend that time. You could read a book or even learn a new language! Rosetta Stone suggests practicing for a minimum of only 30 minutes a day! I remember the time before social media become popular. Those who truly wanted to keep in touch with you would make an effort to; they'd find a way to & vice versa. This is sadly a generation that has become more comfortable with staring at a screen than staring into someone's eyes. Most young people would rather "shoot someone a text" than call them up on the phone. Others often prefer to fiddle with their phone than strike up a conversation with a stranger. Don't get me wrong, social media is an amazing tool! It has allowed me to get back in contact with old friends, & I've made some new friends that I don't want to lose touch with. I just think that people often misuse social media, & their relationship with others & a more intimate connection with the world suffers because of it. 

Lately, I've started doing "weekly life updates" with some of my closest friends. It always feels so much better to get the inside scoop from them personally & not through a forum used to inform the masses. Sharing information is great, & how you share that information matters. Our family & close friends play a more important role in our lives. They are special blessings & should be treated as such. Sure, social media makes it tremendously easier to keep in touch with out-of-state family & friends, but my husband & I are hoping this experience will only strengthen those relationships. We hope to create a special bond through a more personal approach of keeping in touch—with snail mail being my favorite! After this 9 month deployment is over, my husband & I will have a lot of quality time to make up for. We will have a lot of catching up to do, & this hiatus will help us do just that! :) We will either start when he comes home or at the beginning of the new year. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to announce our hiatus. Who would really care other than family & close friends, right? However, the more I thought about it, the more the idea to just "disappear" without a word didn't sit well with me. It just didn't feel like a good vibe to put out into the universe. Plus, I'm a talker & I'm a writer. Staying silent about people/thoughts/ideas/things/moments that move me isn't exactly my forte.

Sooo, this is my "heads up" post. Will my husband & I be able to stick with the hiatus for a year? I hope so! There are very few rare exceptions we agreed on! Will it last longer than a year? It's a possibility; we'll just have to wait & see how we feel when that time comes! I'll still use social media for business/professional use, just not for personal use. I can't wait to see what will come from this experiment! :) For those who cared enough to take the time to read this little novel of mine, I send love & light your way ♥ #TheMontgomeryHiatus #darleneandrobert #darleneandroberts2nddeployment

Chapter 48: The "Letters For Robert" Project [a deployment gift]

An excerpt of a letter to my husband:

"Your wife, my best friend, taught me love, hope and happiness. She taught me that love endures all, and that real love is not that of stories, but the actions etched into our hearts. It is all because of you... I could never have asked for God to bring her someone better. You are her everything. Before I ever met you, I loved you, because I love her. I saw what you meant to her, and I knew it was nothing short of a fantastic reality... If ever there was a true love to believe in, it is yours..." 

—Kendall

Before my husband left for his 2nd deployment, I decided to put together a special gift for him. I asked a bunch of family & friends to handwrite him a letter to help me send him off to sea with some love from home. The tricky part was making sure I picked up the mail before he got the chance to! I decorated a special box with his name on it & put all of the letters inside of it. I gave the box to him the day he deployed. This particular letter was written by one of my closest friends who was a bridesmaid in our wedding. I'm happy to have stumbled upon it again, because it's really special to me. She gave me permission to publish this, so below is the full copy of her letter. The way she writes about my husband perfectly describes the way I too feel about him. When I read this letter I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have the husband & marriage that I have, & how blessed I am to have the writer of this letter in my life. Thank you for this beautiful letter, Kendall. It means a lot to the both of us ♥

Chapter 47: Live life the real way! [+video]

Look Up: A spoken word film for an online generation

[written, performed, & directed by Gary Turk]

• "I have 422 friends, yet I'm lonely. I speak to all of them every day, yet none of them really know me."
• "This media that we call social is anything but—when we open our computers & it's our doors we shut."
• "So when you're in public & you start to feel alone, put your hands behind your head—step away from the phone... just talk to one another. Learn to coexist."
• "We're a generation of idiots. Smartphones & dumb people."
• "So look up from your phone. Shut down your display. Take in your surroundings, make the most of today."
• "We have a finite existence—a set number of days. Don't waste your life getting caught in the net, 'cause when the end comes nothing's worse than regret."
• "Give people your love. Don't give them your 'like'."

Above I've listed some of my favorite lines from the 4 minute video that I've posted below. We've all seen at least one video or article about the subject of not letting technology take over your life. Out of all the videos I've seen & articles I've read, this one moved me the most. It's the most powerful stance for living life in the "real world" that I've seen thus far. These types of videos explain why my husband & I have a ban on cell phone use while we're out & about with each other. I'll get into that later on in this blog... Sure, I'm all about documenting moments. I love freezing time & capturing memories through writing, photography, & videography. I do it because I know they'll help my family & me remember those little details of life that we'll surely forget with age in due time. They're also nice to look back on, especially when you're missing someone because of work separation or death. I Facebook, I Instagram, I blog, I write—I share a lot about my life. I share my experiences online & I share them in my personal journals & scrapbooks. I share because I'm happy. I share because there needs to be more positive energy put out into the universe than negative energy. I share because I feel like love is a beautiful thing that should be shared. I share because I hope to help others & somehow make a difference in people's lives. I share because you never know who you could be inspiring. I share because I love life.

However, I'm also all about living in the moment & not letting yourself get distracted by all of the cool gadgets & gizmos of plenty that we own. Technology has proven to be a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong. The problem is that most people abuse technology by giving it too much of their attention. Technology is meant to help us, not hurt us. We're abusing it if we let it create problems between our relationships with others & with our connection to the universe. It's hurting us if it's stopping us from being productive. Yes, it's a hard balancing act sometimes. That probably explains why every once in a while I take an "internet hiatus" to keep myself in check. Sometimes the hiatuses just happen, while other times I make a conscious decision to take one because I know that I need it. Whenever I take a break from the internet, Billy Joel's song lyric, "Take your phone off the hook & disappear for a while" always comes to mind.

Videos like these probably also explain why I'm so adamant about keep snail mail alive. It's just much more personal than a text message or Facebook comment, or what have you. Yes, it takes much longer to write & mail off a letter than it does to type something on your phone or computer, but isn't that the point? Doesn't it feel good to know that someone took that extra bit of time out of their day to handwrite you a letter, letting you know that you're thought of? It's a nice thing to do every once in a while & it's definitely a nice thing to receive. Let me reiterate that I'm not saying to cut out technology completely. There just needs to be a healthy balance. I practically live off of technology when my husband is deployed or underway. I love being able to email him daily & Skype him while he's in port. I can't imagine how difficult it was to be a military couple during WWI & WWII when snail mail was the only method of communication.

Anyway, now I'm just rambling about snail mail, & that's not what this is about.... this is about making the decision to connect with people in the real world more than in the cyber world. At times I have to remind myself not to get too caught up in "documenting" moments that I end up missing some moments. That's a big reason why my husband & I made a big shift in our marriage when it comes to our date nights & technology. I've been guilty in the past of scrolling through my newsfeed or posting on Facebook a little too much for my husband's liking. My husband has been guilty of playing games on his phone a little too much for my liking. A couple years ago, a friend told me that her & her husband have a rule to not use their phones at all during date nights. I told my husband about this & he thought it was a great idea. It's such a simple solution. Why didn't we think of that? So, we talked about it & made a compromise. We can use our phones when we're looking up directions or under special circumstances. For example, being the "documenter" that I am, I'm allowed to take photos, but I have to wait to edit them or post anything online until later. If I post about a date of ours in "real time" it's because my husband & I have talked about it first, & I asked if it was ok. We are grounded in the present & give each other our full attention, whether it's date night or just a trip to the commissary to pick up some groceries. If we're outside of our home, then the cell phone ban is in effect. Our quality husband & wife time is truly quality time, without the distractions of technology. 

I hope you're all able to take something away from watching this video & reading this blog post. Don't let technology & social media rob you from experiencing the true joys of life. 

[Photo credit: http://loudontheweb.com/]

Chapter 46: Our Love Is Deployment Strong... again [+video]

"I saw you at the end of the rocks! I told everyone too. I saw you running down the pier and to the car when we were pulling out, I thought you were so cool! I knew exactly what you were doing! It made me smile so big..." —My Husband

Two months ago, I watched my heart float out to sea... In other words, my husband left on his 2nd deployment—this one lasting 9-10 months long. I've been wanting to write about that dreaded "D-day", but I just haven't been able to bring myself to do so until now. It's hard to put into words just how much it hurts to say, "I'll see you soon", because soon never comes soon enough. As his ship inched further away from my view, I could feel my heart racing & beating faster with each passing breath. It was my heart's pathetic plea, begging the ship to turn around, head back to shore, & reunite me with my husband. Wasn't 2 hours long enough? I had been standing on the beach for 2 hours. Could he please come back & stop playing the role of a U.S. Navy sailor now? No? 9-10 more months, you say? Ok, then... I'll just wait. I'll always wait for him...

My husband surprised me w/this photo he sent to
me in an email. One of the photographers from
the ship captured this candid moment of us.
I was a crying mess...

As the ship was pulling out to sea, families were standing on the pier—tearfully waving goodbye & blowing kisses to their sailor manning the rails in their nicely tailored dress blues uniform. It's quite a sight to see. It's easy to take in the beauty of it all & get lost in it. Suddenly, it's harder to see them. How'd they get so far away?! Then you remember that they're leaving... they're deploying... & you're left standing there wishing you could steal just a few more moments with the one you love. It pained me to turn around & run away from the ship, towards the parking lot. I wanted terribly to stay on that pier with my eyes locked on my husband's, for as long as I possibly could. While most people stayed glued to the pier to watch the ship pull out, I ran along the pier to try & keep up with the ship, while my camera stayed glued to my hand to film it all. I'm sure I looked like I was running mad, but I had no shame. I had a mission. I made a promise to my husband, & I was going to see to it that I keep that promise. I remember saying to myself, "Hurry up, hurry up! Make it to the beach. Head to the rocks. Pay attention to your driving. Don't speed!" It was in those moments that I wished more than ever that the speed limit on base was faster than 25mph! At least the traffic lights were in my favor, but I didn't know where to go... I just knew I had to park as close to the rocks as possible. I was so afraid I would miss the ship's passing.

The last time I headed to those rocks was in 2011 with one of my closest girl friends, Telsey, & she was the one that drove. Her husband was attached to the ship at the time. On the pier we held up a poster that said, "We love you Robert & Wayne. Stay Safe" & then rushed to the beach to see the ship off from the rocks. It was very different standing on those rocks alone this time around. I missed her company. I decided I wanted to keep that tradition. This time, however, I stayed until I could no longer see the ship. I just couldn't get myself to leave. The things that we'd do to feel as connected to the one we love as long as we possibly can... Once I made it to the beach, I discovered that a few other families had the same idea as me. I made sure to distance myself from them so that my husband would be able to easily find me. I was the furthest person on the rocks, closest to the shore. Once I started to climb the rocks, I prayed to God, "Oh, please don't let me slip & fall! I should've worn better shoes!" I didn't have very long to celebrate my mini win over making it on top of the rocks before it was time to get my camera ready to capture the ship passing by. I took photos, recorded some footage, as well as waved & blew kisses to my husband, of course. It was then that I discovered that my boots had holes in the bottom of the soles, because I felt my socks get wet & my feet get cold. Hakuna Matata, right?

I stood on the beach with my eyes affixed to the horizon for 2 hours. During that time, I came across an elderly couple taking a walk along the beach. It was around that time that another ship pulled out to join my husband's ship on deployment, so I assumed they were there to see the ship off. When I asked them they said no, but asked if I was. I then pointed off to the distance & said, "No, I'm seeing that ship off", & explained to them the little ritual of mine to not leave until the ship was no longer in view. The older gentleman said, "Oh, well I think that's just wonderful. That's a beautiful thing that you're doing. The life of a Navy wife is a hard one. I wish you & your husband the best." I thanked him & wished them a good day. I also came across two other wives from my husband's ship. One of them looked like she had been crying the entire time, & we all comforted each other with words of encouragement & hugs. They left about 15 minutes before I did.

Love note in the sand for my husband

I was in a pretty good emotional state. I hadn't cried since I left the ship to stand on the pier. I felt pretty strong... that was until I got home to our nearly empty apartment. I instantly broke down in tears. I had also been awake for over 24 hours, as my husband & I stayed up to put the majority of our belongings in storage to prepare for my move back to CA for the duration of deployment. We didn't want to waste our time together asleep. We wanted to spend every waking moment with each other. We tend to pull all nighters a lot, whenever he's about to go underway for a long period of time, & deployment is definitely a long underway. I was tired, I was emotional, I was missing my husband terribly... I had to pass on an invitation to go out to dinner with a group of Navy wives from the ship because of how emotional I was. That was hard for me to do, because I love spending time with other military wives, especially during deployment. I just couldn't get myself to leave our apartment, & I know my limits. I was a wreck.

Kisses for my handsome & favorite sailor

It's my belief that you have to have that moment of breakdown & shed a lot of tears before you can pick yourself back up & become strong again. If you're not part of the military community, you may say something along the lines of, "Don't worry. You guys will make it through this" as words of encouragement to someone with a deployed spouse. However, what non-military people don't understand is the mind & the heart of a military wife. It's never a matter of whether or not my husband & I can make it through deployment. I'm not worried about our marriage. It's a matter of making in through deployment with your sanity still intact. It's about finding a way to not be miserable the entire time. It's about thriving through deployment, not just surviving it. Having been in a LDR for 5 years before we got married & having gone through a deployment in 2011, my husband & I already have a lot of tips & tricks to help us "love from a distance". I always tell people that while deployment can be difficult, it's also an opportunity to focus on the positives that can come out of deployment—like a stronger relationship. As long as you find ways to stay connected to your spouse & always remain on the same page, you will surely come out stronger in the end. Set clear expectations for each other even before your spouse leaves. I also tell people to use this time to better yourself as an individual, because that in turn can help better your marriage. My husband & I believe that individual growth can help your marriage grow. It's a win-win! We should constantly try to improve ourselves & our lives, & what better time to do so than during deployment?

For all my fellow milsos out there who are going through a deployment...

Stay strong. Stay beautiful. Stay in love.

We Are Deployment Strong [2014] from Darlene Montgomery on Vimeo.

[NOTE: Family & friends, please message me on FB/email/text me for the password]

I really enjoy editing home videos for my husband & I. Everyone probably knows by now how important I think it is to document your memories. I thought the families of my husband's ship might enjoy having a special video keepsake from deployment day too. I surprised them with this video & gave everyone the option to email me a family photo if they weren't already in the video & wanted to be included in it. The video includes footage of the ship & photos of many families. 

More photos from D-day:

This puppy went with me during my 35 day trip throughout Europe
& during half of my husband's deployment in 2011 :) He's a world
traveler! He's on deployment with my husband right now.

I'm so in love with him <3

He was calling me from his cell phone one last time...

Candid shot of a husband & wife

My husband supervising his fellow shipmates

Supervising again [top left] & getting ready to leave :(

I don't know whose kids these belong to, but they were too cute.

Custom 'R&D' ring that fits inside of a custom dog tag that I gave to my
husband as a deployment gift.

Chapter 45: My 5 "secrets" to staying in shape!

With the new year comes new resolutions. Two things that are on a lot of people's list is to get healthier & get in better shape. I'm right there with you all! I think it's a wonderful thing to make your health a priority! In fact, I don't only think it's wonderful, I think it's important! A motto that my husband & I use is, "Stay healthy. Stay fit. Stay happy." We try our best to work out & eat healthy. I believe that probably 25% of our friends eat healthier & exercise more than we do. You guys motivate us! We're always striving to lead a healthier lifestyle! I never used to like working out in the gym because dancing [hip hop, jazz, ballet, tap, etc...] was my form of exercise. I thought the gym was boring, & all the equipment intimidated me. It wasn't until my husband introduced me to the gym that I ended up loving it! He had been trying to get me to workout with him for the longest time, but I never wanted to do the "gym thing". Then, last October, our base finally opened up their newly renovated gym that they poured millions of dollars into. My husband took me there, taught me the ways of the gym, introduced me to weights, & thus a gym junkie was born! I love working out with my husband! I never thought I'd enjoy being a gym-goer. We motivate each other. We push each other. We reward each other with kisses after finishing a set. It's pretty romantic, really ;) Or we're just that annoying mushy/corny fitness couple. No shame!

swolemate [noun]: Your life-long gym partner.
The one you simply can't lift without.
You would never dare let someone else spot you
once you've found your true swolemate.
You and your swolemate grow together,
both literally and figuratively.

Before I list my [not so] "secret" to staying in shape, I feel the need to mention that not everyone thinks being called "skinny" is a compliment. For me personally, I actually get offended when someone calls me skinny.  I've been guilty of retorting with, "I'm not skinny. Feel my abs!" I'd rather be called fit, in shape, or slim [if you must]. If it's rude to call someone fat, why is it ok to call someone skinny? That's a conversation I've had with one of my friends. In my opinion, I just think there's such a negative connotation attached to the word skinny. If someone calls me skinny, I think they're calling me boney & ugly. I don't think boney is beautiful. [Note: To clarify, I don't believe being boney by choice is beautiful. The people I'm referring to excludes those with medical conditions who are unable to put on weight. They are beautiful & strong in their own way] So please, think twice before you call someone skinny! They may not take it as a compliment, even if you mean it as a compliment! Also, please keep in mind that some people are just petite & born with a small frame. I've met people who want to gain more weight, but have trouble doing so. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. You may wish you were skinny like Sally, but Sally may wish she were curvier like you! You may wish you had straight hair like Katie, but Katie may wish her hair had more volume like yours! Too often we want what someone else has. OWN your OWN body! Treasure YOUR looks instead of envying what someone else looks like.

After HIT [high intensity training] gymnastics class with my husband.
I learned how to do kipping ups!

Furthermore, you shouldn't strive to be a certain size or weight. Just strive to be HEALTHY! That is what makes you beautiful [or handsome, if you're a guy reading this]! We were all born in different shapes & sizes. I know I won't ever have the biggest *ahem* chest area, and that was never an issue for me. I didn't care. You know why? Well, here's one reason... if I had a bigger chest, then I wouldn't be able to fit under the bed anymore ;P Call me weird, but in High School I used to lay under my bed all the time. I'd talk on the phone under my bed, I'd read a book under my bed [or in my closet], & I'd hide from my little sister under my bed... until she figured out that I could fit under my bed—then my hiding place was blown! Find any little or weird reasons to love everything about yourself. Strive to be healthy. If you want to go a step further & get more fit, then go for it!

I absolutely love under armour gear!

People will ask me what my secrets are to staying in shape & if I workout like crazy. Honestly, I don't workout as much as I should/want to. I used to say that I was in my best shape my senior year in high school—my college years, because I danced a lot. As I mentioned earlier, it wasn't until just recently that I jumped into the "fit lifestyle" & started trying to go to the gym regularly. Now I can say that I'm in my best shape now & gradually improving! I can now do push-ups—which I've never been able to do before—thanks to my workout dates with my husband! [Thanks babe! :D] The reason I put "secrets" in quotes in the title of my blog is because my "secrets" aren't really secrets. I don't follow a cleanse every X amount of days, I don't fast, I don't take diet pills, or what have you. No. I've just learned some simple tips over the years [mostly in high school] that I've tried to stick to, & I think they've helped shape my life & health in very positive ways:

1. Drink more water!

Simple, right? I've read that often times you're really just dehydrated, but you end up eating instead, & your body extracts the water from your food. You should try to drink a glass of water 30 minutes before you eat a meal. This will help hydrate & fill you, so that you don't overeat. 

2. Don't eat then sleep!

My husband tells me, "that's how sumo wrestlers get so big!" Lol :P Make sure you finish your meal within 3 hours before you plan to go to bed! I've heard that you need this time to digest & have your food turn into energy for you to use & burn off. If you fall asleep right away, your food will just turn into fat. This is something I'm pretty good at doing, but I do have my bad nights!

Under Armour! Love my new workout clothes & shoes!

3. Eat & drink healthy!

"Yes, organic food is expensive. However, last I heard, cancer is pretty expensive too."—Unknown

Pick up a piece of fruit or eat a plate of salad instead of junk food! This is something we're still working on, but I think we do a better job than most people. We'd love to eat completely organic food, but it's not always easy to find, & it definitely is expensive. That's where prioritizing comes into play. Give up a "luxury" expense in order to be able to afford to eat organic. Your body is your temple. Take care of it. Consider cutting out [or at least limiting] soda & alcohol from your diet too! I gave up soda cold turkey in high school because I read an article in TIME magazine about how much soda the average American consumes in a year, & it disgusted me. My husband & I aren't much of drinkers either, & I'm so glad that we aren't! Think of all the money you'll save & calories you'll avoid if you cut out [or limit] your soda & alcohol intake! :) That's money that can go to a traveling fund! New appliances! A gym membership! The possibilities are endless! :) 

He motivates me to push myself harder! 

 4. Flex every chance you get!
When you're sitting at the computer, watching tv, walking around the mall... flex your abs a little! Keep those muscles active. I think this is something I just picked up on due to my background in modeling & dancing. It was something my husband pointed out to me. I never really noticed that I'd often flex my abs ever so slightly randomly. In dance, you need to have a strong core to keep yourself centered & square, so that your dance moves look clean. I learned to have good posture because of modeling & walking the runway. To me, good posture & a tight stomach kind of go hand in hand, so it's almost automatic for me. If I'm standing/sitting up straight, I'm most likely flexing my abs a little as well. I think this simple thing has definitely helped me keep my "baby abs" throughout the years. However, sometimes I use that as a reason not to exercise =X I'm trying to break the habit of telling myself, "if I can still see my abs then I can skip working out today." That is a no no! I would like to get more toned & have more definition. I'm not there yet, & if I keep that mindset of not working out as long as my baby abs are still visible, then I'll never get the abs that I really want!

5. Go exercise!
Didn't see that one coming, did you?! :P Lol. Exercise as much as you can! Take your love & strive to be a FIT couple! Grab a friend & be workout buddies! Go to the gym. Go out for a run. Take dance classes. Go for a hike. Go for a nature walk. Just DO something ACTIVE, & do it often! 

*      *      * 

And wala! That's it :) My simple tips or so-called "secrets" to staying in shape! I hope they help you start off your new year with better & healthier habits! If you have any of your own tips & "secrets" please share them in a comment! :)

I love my husband :)

Chapter 44: An Act of LOVE! My husband's 1st tattoo! [+video]

"So, if you choose always me, I'll make a promise to choose all of you. And if you will follow me now, I'll be always there to follow you..." —Busby Marou [song: All Of You]

My husband getting our wedding date in Roman Numerals
tattooed on his ring finger ♥
Inksmith & Rogers Tattoo [Atlantic Blvd]
www.inksmithtattoo.com @inksmithandrogers
Tattoo artist: Kenny Rice @kennyrice_ir

When you say "I do" on your wedding day, you're saying, "I will always choose you, love you, & take care of you. Forever." Wedding rings are a symbol of love & affection. A tattoo is just another gesture to prove the permanence of your love to your spouse :)

Last week my husband decided to finally get the tattoo that he has been planning to get for the longest time, & I got it all on video [posted below]! The tattoo my husband got is so special to the both of us. It wasn't only a gift to himself, but a gift to me as well. A gift to us. A gift to our marriage. Every time I see it I can't help but smile. I can't even count how many times I've asked to see his tattoo, & he hasn't even had it for a whole week yet! :P He's mentioned that when he catches a glimpse of it in the mirror it makes him happy, & THAT makes me even MORE happy!

What is a tattoo? It's permanent ink on your body through the use of a needle. It's also either:
-A permanent piece of art for you to cherish for the rest of your life [if you got a tattoo with meaning that you thought long & hard about]
-OR it's going to be a piece of regret [if you got a tattoo without thinking hard about it... especially if you weren't in a sober state]

I absolutely LOVE it! It's simple & it's perfect.
We're so happy with the way it turned out! :D

Before my husband & I got married, he told me a long time ago that he was interested in getting a ring finger tattoo. Being in the Navy, my husband has to take his ring off a lot while working on the ship due to safety reasons. We exchanged promise rings in 2009, so he had to deal with taking his ring on & off for years before we got married. There have been a handful of times where we'd have to turn the car around & head back to the ship because my husband left his ring at work. He hates being without his wedding ring, & I love that about him! With our 2nd deployment coming up so soon, my husband wanted to get his tattoo before he deploys. Even though I didn't get to experience getting "inked" myself, I'm glad I don't ever have to go through the anxiety of being without my ring & feeling "naked" without it. I don't have this problem because I never have to take off my ring. The only time I'm without my ring is if I'm showering or taking it to the jewelers for its inspection or cleaning. I must admit, I was pretty stinkin' jealous that I didn't walk out of that tattoo shop with a matching tattoo myself! This was our original plan—we wanted to get our 1st tattoos together. Unfortunately, certain job opportunities don't allow me to have any visible tattoos. I may have to wait to get my 1st tattoo [to match his], but I'm looking forward to that day even more every time I see my husband's tattoo!

My husband already had an idea of what he wanted. He knew he wanted a tattoo of our wedding date in Roman Numerals, & the guys did a great job giving suggestions on what would look better & last longer. The sketch of his tattoo changed quite a few times before my husband decided on one, but the guys were very patient! Finger tattoos are difficult because they fade quicker than other places on your body, so you can't get too detailed or too small with a design, because it won't look good in "X" amount of years. He originally wanted to get our whole date VII VII XII.

First photo with my now tattooed husband! :)
He's EXTRA handsome now!

Why do I want to do this? Why would anyone want to go through this pain? Why would someone do this if they never have to take off their ring in the first place? Sure, if your job requires you to take it off for safety concerns, that makes more sense. But why would anyone else do this?... After your wedding day it's only natural to want to do more to continue to prove your love & show your love to your spouse everyday. We do this because we feel so blessed to have found our soulmate, so we want to make them happy & make sure they always feel loved. My husband showed me a great act of love by getting this tattoo, & I want to show him that same amount of love! What made this day even more special was that he got the tattoo on my Grandma's birthday [rest in peace, grandma]. Needless to say, I love him even more for getting our wedding date tattooed on him forever, & for choosing it as his 1st tattoo. I'm a very lucky lady ♥

--->Click 'HD' to watch the video in better quality<---

Robert's 1st Tattoo! from Darlene Montgomery on Vimeo.

Chapter 43: Hello, 2014! [+video]

"Today is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one"

—Unknown

A friend of mine posted that on her Facebook & I absolutely loved it! It's a new year. Start it off right by always striving to be a better YOU. Sure, that sounds cliché, but who cares? Do what makes you happy. Focus on the GOOD, not the bad. Kick off the new year with positive energy. In the words of Oprah Winfrey, "Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher." Leave whatever may have been dragging you down in 2013, in the past. Start off fresh in 2014 :)

My husband & I celebrated most of our NYE in St. Augustine—the oldest city in the nation! Then we rang in the new year in the comfort of our home. I put together a little video of our day. It would've been nice to celebrate NYE with all of our family, but my husband & I definitely enjoyed our quality time together. He's currently on leave, so I get him all to myself for a few days :) However, it's not enough time together when the visual of the clock ticking closer to our 2nd deployment is on the surface of my mind. We survived our 1st deployment of 6 months in 2011, but this time he'll be deployed for over 9 months.

I try to live in the moment as best I can, but sometimes that's difficult to do. Just the other day I couldn't help but start crying. We were cleaning our apartment, but whenever a favorite slow song would come on Pandora we'd both stop what we were doing & start slow dancing with one another. Whenever I think to myself, "this is something you'll have to live without for 9+ months," I can quickly come undone. These mini-breakdown moments are what fuel me to capture & document our life. I know they'll help me get through the lonely nights while my husband is deployed.

Hello, 2014! from Darlene Montgomery on Vimeo.

Some interesting facts about our video:

-Did you know that balisong knives [aka butterfly knives] are illegal to carry in CA, but they're legal to openly carry in FL? I was impressed with the tricks my husband was doing. I later found out that one of his uncles had one that he used to play with [& ended up breaking on accident]. My husband tried to teach me how to use it, & lets just say that I'm glad we didn't get him a real one with a blade. In other words. I suck at it :P

-Pizza Time was actually a restaurant in Brooklyn, NY! They had photos on the wall of their restaurant in Brooklyn. It was so cool to see a younger photo of the man who handed my husband our pizzas! We definitely recommend that pizza place. It's legit!

-I got my new purse for 80% off :D Such a steal! That shopping trip was a surprise, but I'm happy we stopped at the outlet! I blame one of my best friends for introducing me to Coach purses. I'm glad she did though! Her & my husband both bought me Coach purses as a wedding gift, so I got to start my collection quickly! I was never into designer purses until she showed me hers & told me that they're really good quality. I had a tendency to break most of my purses, especially the small zipper pouch on the inside. The lining would tear or the strap would break because I would stuff my purses with too many things :P I'm happy to say that all of the Coach purses I own are still in mint condition, even with how much I stuff them! I'm definitely sold. However, I don't think I'd ever buy one for regular price! Good thing outlets exist!

-We didn't make it in time to watch the fireworks on the beach, but traffic did come to a complete stop, so we got a nice view from our car & even stepped outside for a little bit. We left before the finale to beat the traffic & make it back home early!

-There are roughly only about 10 alcoholic beverages that we will drink [we're not much of drinkers], & Roscato is one of our favorite wines!

-My husband caught me on camera as I took a photo of an inside joke about being a "rebel" to send to my friend.

Now, if only I video taped our FaceTime with my family [& extended family] in CA! We got to watch them play some sort of charades type of game & stayed up until 3AM to help them ring in the new year! I just wish we got a better view of all the funny gestures they were making during the game :P

Photos from the day...